This week is always one of the toughest for me. Saturday marks 3 years since my mom passed away, and still it feels like it was only yesterday. There are some positive changes going on in my world right now which is helping to keep me distracted, but it still doesn't ease the pain.
I made the decision a few weeks ago to wean off my antidepressant. I have been on it for almost 2 years, and with my physician's consent, I started the transition at the beginning of March. Part of me thought, why on earth am I going off of antidepressants in the same month that has brought me some of the deepest pain in my life? Then I realized that I needed to experience this with an open mind. Antidepressants have always clouded my mind and kept me from feeling what I truly needed to feel.
Keep in mind, I'm not saying that people should not take them or trying to discourage them in any way. I think that is a decision that one makes with his or her physician and that's it. For me personally, I have discovered that at least the ones that are available on the market do not work for me.
So, here we go. Whatever this week will hold, I'm ready. I know that at least in so many ways, I'm in a better place than I was the last couple of years. I know that God wants a lot more from me and has also done a lot with me in the last 3 years. I know that I need to never give up, keep pressing forward, and He will continue to be by my side.
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